Greetings, fellow condo dwellers! We, your ever-resourceful Board of Directors, bring you tidings of great joy, as we continue to steer our beloved community through the turbulent waters of Hurricane Ian’s aftermath.
You may have noticed a few… hiccups along the way. Rest assured; these are all part of our master plan. We’ve gone above and beyond to bring in top-notch mitigation companies to help us rebuild our community. And, with a touch of genius, we’ve ensured that they slap a generous $50,000 lien on each of our properties, which will remain until our insurance decides to pay up (fingers crossed!). After all, what better way to bond as a community than to share a common financial burden?
But we didn’t stop there! With great foresight, we’ve signed another contract with a company that will follow in the footsteps of the first, adding yet another lien to our properties six months from now. This daring strategy keeps us on our toes and keeps our community in the spotlight. Why settle for one lien when you can have two?
Now, we understand that some of you may have concerns. In the spirit of maintaining our utopian community, we cannot allow dissent to fester. Therefore, we’ve enacted a policy of not listening to any residents. In fact, we encourage everyone to engage in the fine art of public shaming. Anyone who dares to speak out against our flawless plan should be met with the scorn they so rightfully deserve.
Moreover, if you happen to come across a resident who has been outspoken against our grand plan in public, it is your civic duty to confront them. Let them know how you feel about their despicable attempt to derail our quest for boardroom dominance. After all, what could be more important than preserving our egos in the face of adversity?
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this satirical blog post are purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real-life events, condo associations, or board members is purely coincidental and unintentional. The author holds no responsibility for any bruised egos, confrontations, or additional liens incurred as a result of reading this post. Reader discretion is advised, especially if you’re on a condo association board or have a propensity for taking satirical content seriously. Enjoy with a hearty pinch of salt and a side of laughter.